Thoughts on Christianity

To sum up the following novel of a blogpost, I'll quote one of my favs.

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."-Mahatma Gandhi

“Whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray while standing in synagogues and on street corners so that people can see them. Truly I say to you, they have their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you” -Matthew 6:5-15

This weekend I endeavored on my 7th annual scrap-booking retreat in Pine Cove, TX. Pine Cove is a lovely area near Tyler with beautiful, tall, East Texas pines, a serene lake, horseback-riding, and friendly people energetic for life. They also have delicious food. I went to this camp as a summer camper from 6th grade through my first year of high school. I also attended with my family and a couple of family friends for Easter. All in all, I think I've been to 15 Christian conferences and have never left with a distaste in my mouth until today.

In general, I think if somebody has some connection with a Higher Power, and that connection doesn't harm anybody around them, I endorse the religion! Typically, religion inspires everyday people to live by a moral code. Most religions, when analyzed, have very similar value systems and in general promote peace and love to one another. Yet when religion gets in the hands of extremists, it can be used for vanity at best, and wars at worst. What aches me, as a spiritual and open-minded Christian, is when I see other "Christians" using Jesus as a personal pawn in a game. 

I guess I should give some background on my personal experience with religion. I was baptized Episcopalian, confirmed Methodist, and taught Sunday School at a Unity church while in Oklahoma. In high school, I led Bible Studies with a group called "Campaigners," was actively involved in Young Life, and was secretary of "FCA" (Fellowship of Christian Athletes...the Christian part was true, the Athlete...not so much!) I felt a transformation around age 20 when I quit viewing Jesus as a "safety net" and more as a "spiritual teacher." When I began to look at the "miracles" of the Bible as lessons I can apply to my life, I found Christianity to be more practical and, in turn, became more spiritual. I actually applied in college to work at Pine Cove as a student nurse at summer camp. During a phone interview, they asked me my view on abortion. I told them, "Though I don't think I could go through with that decision for myself, I don't feel it my place to judge a woman who has. I couldn't judge somebody for making that decision after being raped." They told me, "Well, we know that the Lord does not condone this in any way, shape, or form, and we would need you to be on the same page so we don't confuse the campers." I thought, regardless of if they extend a job or not, I can't work here. What was "not Christiany" enough with my answer? Isn't that WWJD????

I began viewing Jesus as a leading spiritual teacher with one particular example found in Luke. The fishermen tell Jesus they haven't caught any fish, and ask Him to help. Luke 5:4-6 says, "When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, 'Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.' But Simon answered and said to Him, 'Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.' And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking."

For some people, viewing Jesus as a man who physically broke nets with thousands of fish holds significance. I do not wish to take away from that. Again, if believing this story stirs love and peace within, I consider that a positive thing. However, I consider this story to be Jesus telling the fishermen, "Hey! You're a FISHERMAN. If you want to catch fish, quit complaining, and lower your net! CATCH A FISH!" And they did. I don't consider this view 'sacrilegious' or 'wrong' because viewing Jesus in this way makes me admire Him even more. I imagine if Jesus were here today, with me, on a daily basis, He wouldn't just feed me. He would teach me a trade so that I could feed myself. What's that old expression? Feed a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime?? I think Jesus, if here today, would tell me how to work to make money, to eat. Or teach me how to grow my own vegetables or something! I think Jesus wants us to be self-empowered individuals succeeding at life, and I think his message to Simon was just that. "Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch." That message inspires me to quit complaining, and go out there and GET what I need.

I question people's intention when they "preach" through various mediums. Often I'll see Facebook statuses that reference the Bible or personal love of Jesus. I can't even count how many e-mails I've received that have said, "If you love Jesus and aren't embarrassed of His message, you will send this to 10 of your friends." These are the kind of mediums that I find offensive, because MY interpretation of Jesus is the opposite of this!!! I recall the verse from Matthew 6:5-15 (scroll to the top of the page, beneath the photo of Jesus). Jesus HIMSELF told us to pray in secret. To close the door. I believe that the relationship one has with "God/Buddha/Jesus/(fill in the blank here)" can never be fully explained or understood by anybody other than that person. And when a separate, outside entity, tries to influence that relationship toward a direction that works FOR THEM, it is arrogant. I know that often Christians feel a need to spread the gospel as part of their calling. My message to them would be to spread it through actions. Besides, if anybody knows non-Christians, the FIRST thing to turn them away is a preachy-attitude. 

At Pine Cove this year, the speaker was kind and friendly. I would expect nothing less, they all are! However, I could not apply her message to my life. It seemed to just not "fit" with my view of Christianity. She told us that we all live for two days. "This Day" and "That Day." She said we have to live for today (which I completely agree with and aspire to do.....but still have a lot of work I need to do in this department!) and live for the day we die or Jesus Christ comes back. To be honest, Jesus Christ could have already come back and Christians might have been the first to cast him away. Jesus, at the time, was a radical. He delivered a message of submission. Up until the New Testament, the Bible tells us, "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth," and Jesus' message was, "Turn the other cheek." For the times, Jesus was an outcast and many people despised Him. I wonder if Christians today despise and criticize people who just might be Jesus returning? How could we possibly know? In all fairness, I don't personally believe Jesus Himself is coming back. I think He came, and His life here was enough for us to all be inspired by it, if that is what we choose. But I am not living my life in fear of what could happen if He returns. I won't live my life in fear of where my soul will go when I die. I'll find out when that happens! Until then, I can only do my best, living by the example given by Christ, to live with a pure heart full of love, forgiveness, and compassion.

On Saturday night, we had a woman come out with a guitar and lead us in worship and praise. I try very hard to make these songs a prayer. If the song doesn't line up exactly with my words to God, I change them in my head. For example, if a song says, "Open the eyes of my heart, Lord," I sing in my mind, "Open my heart," and when a song says, "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love," I don't envision leaving a man with his arms open for me! I think of myself as wandering off track for what is best for me, and what has been given to me, by the Creator. I am usually pretty good about this. However, there was one song we sang...CORRECTION... they sang, that I could not wrap my head around. In fact, I sat down and started eating my cherry cobbler (yum). "Our God" was the title, and you can see the lyrics in their entirety here: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/christomlin/ourgod.html

The main problem I have with this song is the repetitive line in the chorus which sings:

"Our God is greater, Our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other"

On our feedback form, I wrote that as a Christian, I feel no need to profess the strength and superiority of God. I believe there to be ONE God. Saying he is "greater" or "stronger" implies that there is another. I think EVERY religion is praying to the same God, and calling Him a different name. Surely God of the Universe is not going to be hung up on trivial details such as how one spells His name. And surely Buddha and God aren't duking it out up there, thankful to the Christians for singing and rooting Him on. If there was a war going on in the heavens between Gods, I don't want to be on the team that requires cheering. I want to believe in a God that is infinite, all-knowing, all-loving, omnipresent, and doesn't just think it or know it.....but IS IT. And that is what I believe, in fact! No need to compare Him to a non-existent being, especially if you claim Christianity (or any other religion)! AHHHH the hypocrisy! I wondered if any of the people singing were thinking about WHAT they were audibly saying, or if they were just singing along. Maybe I was the one at fault for over-analyzing. Typical.

When Jesus actually walked this Earth, people realized how powerful His message was. They were intimidated by His power and for political reasons, crucified Him. Yet when He was walking to his death, and KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DIE, He said, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34). I believe Jesus knew at that given moment that if He weren't crucified, His message wouldn't have as deep of a meaning. Perhaps all of the "zillions of sins" that were cast upon His body that day weren't literally on his chest. He might not have realized that Lindsay Van Meter was going to utter a profane word on 1/10/11. But He knew that His message was of love for thy neighbor and living by example. And if He had fought back, He would have been a hypocrite. Dying was the most perfect way for His message to ring clear by example. And He KNEW IT. Because in my opinion, Jesus was far beyond His time. He had a far better grasp on the world and where it was going. And I am so, so, grateful, to have a powerful teacher like Him in my life. I could never BE Jesus. But when I think about a human being with the utmost integrity, I think about His life. 

I do not want the objective of this post to be anti-anything. I think Christianity can create more good than bad, if we let it. I think Pine Cove is a beautiful place with beautiful people! I just had a lot of insights this weekend, and did a lot of reflection. I wouldn't ever impose this view on anybody. I just felt like putting my thoughts to paper...or screen, rather....and felt like sharing since I share a lot of other thoughts. When it comes to religion and politics, people get very defensive. I think if you have enough faith in what you believe in, there is no need to defend it. You just know. I don't need anybody to come "save me," or "guide me" in a different direction. If I feel that my views are no longer serving me, I'll change them on my own. God knows I've changed my views multiple times already, and I imagine my views on religion, spirituality, and this crazy world, will continue to evolve as I do. 

Thank you for reading my longest blog yet. If you actually made it to this point, props to you and your attention span.